Sweetheart Island
by spicy.pepper19
Summary: The Strawhats land at a new island! The catch? It's a couples-only paradise! ZoroxNami Aaaand your wait is over! YES. Chapter 5 is UP!
1. Land Ho!

A/N: me: I own all of One Piece world, and…

Eiichiro Oda: Dream on, loser!

so yah. Don't own, don't own.

It was a normal day onboard the Thousand Sunny.

Franky and was building some new cola-powered invention, Usopp was up in the crow's nest, Sanji was defending the ship's dwindling meat supply from the captain, Zoro was sleeping off the sake, Chopper and Robin were talking about the history of certain medicinal plants, and Nami was chasing Brook around with her Clima-Tact, screaming that he tried to steal her underwear. A pretty average day.

"LAND-HO!"

Everyone froze for a second, letting the new information sink in.

"EEEEHHHHH?"

**grunt** "So loud so early in the morning…"

"Land?"

"An island? Which one?"

"I'm so glad my heart almost stopped! Ah, but I don't have one…"

"Hmmm… Interesting."

Everyone raced to the side of the ship, making it rock dangerously.

"Wow…" Nami sighed.

"Beautiful…" Robin breathed.

"Err…" The male crewmates looked suspiciously at the new island.

It had crystal blue waters, perfect white crescent beaches, and lazily swaying palm trees. It looked like Utopia. Almost. It was complete heaven, except for the frilly pink hearts that seemed to cover everything.

"We're really here!" Nami squealed excitedly.

"Uhhhh… Where?" Zoro said, absolutely confused.

"Sweetheart Isle, The Land of Couples," the girls sighed dreamily.

Luffy was the first to recover. "Let's go ashore! They have MEAT!"

With a single kick from Sanji, Luffy was silenced. "BAKA. They don't have meat, they have… have…" He went all heart-eyed and yelled "BEAUTIFUL LADIES!" while doing his infamous noodle-dance.

Zoro muttered something about dartboard eyebrows, and told them just to hurry up and go to the "un-manly" island. Everyone agreed, saying that they would only go there, split up, refuel, and leave as fast as they possible could. Nami and Robin could stay in "girly heaven" as long as they wanted, until the Log Pose reset.

"No." Robin's voice was sharp, and brought all plans to a halt. "This is known as the island of Love. You can only enter with someone else."

"Someone…Else?" Luffy said, trying to grasp the concept.

"YES, Luffy," said Nami, impatient. "Like a COUPLE."

"Oh." All the men (except Sanji) sulked, their desire to go ashore battling against their embarrassment of appearing as a COUPLE with one of their nakama. Robin smiled, sensing their discomfort, and generously decided to help them.

"How about this: Nami and I will go ashore with two of you. Chopper, as long as he can stay in reindeer form, can come as a pet. If we can, we'll try to find single girls to send back here, so the rest of you can come, too. If he can, Franky can build himself a girl to come with." Robin smiled, confident of her plan.

The Straw Hat men weighed their options: A blind date or their trusted nakama? Eventually, they all agreed to the plan. Robin, with a final stroke of evil genius, left the final decision up to them: they would have to elect the two men who would go with Robin and Nami.

_Inside the men's cabin…_

"RIDICULOUS! OF COURSE I CAN GO WITH BOTH MY NAMI-SWAN AND ROBIN-CHWANNN~~!"

"Oy, Swirly. It's two men that go, BAKA."

"SHUT UP, MARIMO"

"Excuse me…" Chopper's timid voice was lost among the insults and laughter. He tried again to be heard. "Guys…" Again, no response.

"HEY!" Chopper bellowed. Everyone froze, and stared at the doctor, who had turned into the menacing, half-man half-beast. "WE ARE GETTING NO WHERE. EVERYONE SHUT UP **NOW**!" The room got really quiet, and one by one, everyone admitted the doctor was right. Still fuming, he managed to shrink into his cuter form. "Okay," he said, "I think we need to do this logically. We need _balance_."

"He's right," agreed Usopp. "If Robin is the most down-to-earth, realistic person, we need to put her with…"

"Luffy." The crew agreed.

"EHHH? I'm not down-to-earth?" Luffy asked. No one bothered answering.

"So…though it pains me to admit it, Franky should go with Nami." Brook put in.

"No, Franky's gonna build himself a girl, right?"

"Then…?"

"Oh yes, dear Nami-swan~~. I'll protect you from _everything_! We can stroll together in the Land of Couples~~!" Sanji twirled around, heart-eyed. The rest of the crew shrugged. _Why not?_

"NO." Everyone looked around, startled by Zoro's outburst. "Well, do you really think Nami would want to be surrounded by ero-cook 24/7?" His point was emphasized when Sanji began to recite love poems. The crew shook their heads. Even Nami didn't deserve that degree of torture.

"Hey Zoro… Why do _you_ care about Nami so much anyway, hmm?" Usopp said with his sadistic grin. Zoro was, for once, truly stumped. Why _did_ he care?

"I don't," he said shortly. It sounded fake, even to his own ears. Never mind. He would meditate on this later. Right now, he had other things to worry about. While he had been soul-searching, the crew had made their decision.

"Zoro, you'll go with Nami!" Luffy declared, grinning.

"Wha—" he began.

"NO. NOT MARIMO! HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT A LADY!" Sanji protested, bursting all their eardrums.

"Zoro and Nami are perfect for each other!" Usopp said, with that same evil grin. "Oh, I mean for the assignment of course." Zoro made a mental note to slice out the sniper's tongue. Oblivious to the death threat Zoro was telepathically sending him, Usopp went on talking. "…AND they're complete opposites, just like what we wanted! Zoro's strong, while Nami is pretty vulnerable, and Nami's smart, while Zoro's a hopeless case!" the boy finished brightly. Zoro was ready to kill Usopp.

"YOSH!" It's decided! Let's go to MEAT ISLAND!" Luffy said confidently. The crew sweat-dropped and filed out of the cabin to tell the girls their decision. Zoro stayed behind for a minute. He had to get his head on straight and figure out why he felt relieved that it was him and not someone else who was paired with the red-haired navigator.

A/N: So? Love it? Hate it? Want me to destroy all evidence it existed? If enough people like it, I might do a second chappie bout the island…


	2. Sweetheart Island, Downtown

A/N: So... thanks people who read it. And reviewed. Or just read. Whatever. Here's chapter 2. Like you couldn't tell what it was...

"Hey! The town's THIS WAY, stupid!" Nami sighed as she was forced, yet again, to make sure Zoro didn't end up lost. In the first five minutes, she had been convinced that Zoro was just too stubborn to follow what people said. Now (six minutes later), she was absolutely positive that he was just a hopeless case. Robin and Luffy had gone to find a meat store to satisfy to whining captain, leaving Zoro and Nami to their yelling match in the center of the town.

"Oi, oi… keep your voice down, crazy woman. People are staring." Zoro hated this island. Why did everyone keep giving him strange looks? It's not _that_ uncommon to have a weird hair color, you know!

"Oh, I don't know why, maybe it's because YOU'RE CARRYING THREE FREAKING SWORDS on the island of LOVE?" Nami cried, exasperated. She had tried all morning to get him to leave those things behind. It attracted way too much attention, and if people kept looking at them, she wouldn't be able to quickly swipe anyone's wallet…

"Hey! I couldn't just leave these behind!" Zoro protested.

"Yeah? Why?"

_Because then I couldn't protect you_. Zoro shook the thought from his head, trying to convince himself it wasn't true as he said, "Well… these things are my treasures…"

Nami raised an eyebrow skeptically, but she didn't press him on it. Zoro gave a mental sigh of relief.

"HEY! YOU TWO!" A strange man dressed in an all pink military uniform came running toward them. As he got closer, Zoro instinctively shifted slightly in front of Nami, ready to protect her from whatever this crazy guy was planning. To his surprise, Nami suddenly grabbed his hand and threaded her fingers through his.

"Nami, wha-?"

"Shhh… Don't say anything."

"But—"

"HEY! I'M STILL TALKING TO YOU, YOU KNOW!" The crazy man had reached them, a strange-looking object in his hand. Huffing, the guy stopped in front of them. "Sorry… **wheeze** Just… **huff huff**… Gotta… **gasping for air**" The man chided himself. He really had to lay off the ice cream and cake.

"Excuse me officer, you were saying?" Nami said, a little worried. The man looked like he was ready to have a seizure.

"Oh. Right. **deep breath** I just had to come here to check out if you guys were really a couple. You know, nowadays, too many people are coming here _single_. It's horrible!" The uniformed man shuddered with disgust at the word.

_What the hell? This guy is seriously retarded. Is THIS what he does with his life? Going around to ask people if they're a COUPLE? What is he, the Love Police or something?_ Zoro snorted at the thought. He quickly looked at the man. Short, fat, ridiculously hairy… _And he's on the island of love…_ His pink uniform looked just like an army one, except that it was pink and had the words "LOVE POLICE" stitched on the front. _What the-? This island is SERIOUSLY messed up!_

"Oh officer, everything's fine. My boyfriend and I were just having a loud discussion on who should pay for dinner. I said I would, but he's just too generous, wouldn't listen to me… He's taking me shopping, and then to the best restaurant in town, isn't that right, _honey_?"

_What? That evil little—_Zoro was just about to burst a blood vessel. He's already got a debt of a few hundred million beri (Nami charged interest like you wouldn't believe), and now he was supposed to PAY for HER DINNER? Like hell he would! He opened his mouth, about to tell her that he was going to personally send her to hell, but remembered just in time that the creepy LOVE POLICE guy was there.

Zoro pasted a smile on his face and said, "Well, sweetie, it was the _least_ I could do since you _promised to buy me a new set of training weights_ and all…"

The look on Nami's face was priceless. He could see the little gears turning in that sadistic brain of hers, realizing that SHE was going to be forced to give up HER money for the moss-headed idiot. In less than a second, though, the look of horror on her face was replaced with a genuine-seeming smile. Zoro was pretty impressed. If that girl hadn't planned on being an awesome navigator and complete bitch, she would have made a _fantastic_ actress.

"Excuse me, officer," Nami said sweetly. "We have to get going NOW." She shot Zoro a look that burned with the fires of a thousand hells.

"Oh yes, of course," the strange man said cheerfully, absolutely oblivious to the current atmosphere. "Well, have a nice day!" He walked away, whistling happily. Zoro watched him leave, wondering how far the man could walk without stopping to rest. The poor guy was REALLY out of shape.

"Zoro…"

The swordsman froze. _Uh-oh…_

"Come here. Now."

"Yes, Nami?" He tried at a smile. No use, apparently.

"Let's go for a walk, OK?" She was smiling at him. That was NOT a good sign.

"Sure. Oh hey, did you notice what that guy was wearing? Completely hideous, right?" So, okay, he failed at girl talk. Still, maybe it could get her off-topic…

"Let's go Zoro. We have to discuss your INCREASING debt, and possible financial arrangements…"

_Oh, crap…_

A/N: R&R! Well, guess you already read it. So just review. Please? It's gonna tell me if I should keep going, or just stop if it's really lame. Thanks guys! :D by the way, sorry if it has a lot of mistakes. It's "un-beta-ed" I'm new here, still not sure what a beta is, so...


	3. Lost and Found

A/N: Okay, I know you hate seeing these at the top of every chapter, but just wanted to say thanks to all the people who reviewed. K thats it. Enjoy!

* * *

_Last Time:_

"_Let's go Zoro. We have to discuss your INCREASING debt, and possible financial arrangements…"_

_**Oh, crap…**_

_**

* * *

**_

Nami rubbed her red, sore knuckles. Why did that marimo have to have such a hard head? Believe it or not, it actually _hurt_ every time she had to slug one of her idiotic crew members. Every time there was an argument, she always seemed to be the one who broke it up. Was she the only sane one on the ship or something?

_Well, let's see… _She thought.

Luffy. _Acts like a six year old._ Seriously. If he were just a little shorter, you would never be able to tell he was seventeen. _He's kind of like a little brother, _Nami thought.

Usopp. _Too scared to do anything. _No, that wasn't right. He was sensible. Kind of. _BUT HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING!_ Still, she could relate to him. They were the only _normal_ humans on board. They didn't have super strength and they didn't have a devil fruit power. They always had to be the weak points in the crew.

Sanji. He did have some sense, but as soon as ladies were mentioned… _Nope. Totally insane. Why was __**I**__ the one who had to fight Soap-Lady for him? Cause he couldn't do squat! _Nami thought bitterly. But he could be very sweet, she admitted grudgingly. Not very loyal, but sweet.

Chopper. Yes, he also wasn't as crazy as Luffy, but he didn't seem to see sense the same way Nami did. _He has some really weird habits too…_ she thought. But it was pretty cute to see him hiding the wrong way. _I feel responsible for him. _Nami admitted._ He reminds me of a baby, even though he could probably take out an entire block with his power._

Franky. Oh, god, Franky… _You will know the apocalypse is near when you see me going around in a FLORAL PRINT and a SPEEDO and bellowing "SUPAAAAAHH!" _Nami got a headache just thinking about his way of dressing. And yes, the size of his arms creeped her out to no end. Sure, he was a cyborg, but still… _He doesn't have to cram a freaking CANNON in his arms!_

Brook. No. Never. _I'm pretty sure the fact that he still walks and talks proves his non-normal-ness._

Robin. The mature one of the crew. _Well, apparently "mature" doesn't mean normal. She just let's the idiots get away with anything!_ Nami thought. _But she reminds me of Nojiko… _

"Hey! Nami!"

Nami was jolted out of her fascinating crew analysis. Across the street, Luffy was waving brightly at her, his hands full of various meats. Robin stood next to him, smiling serenely. Nami smiled and made her way over to them.

"Excuse me, Miss Navigator, but where is Mr. Swordsman? You may appear suspicious if you are wandering around by yourself…"

If there was one thing Nami couldn't stand about Robin, it was that girl's habit of being overly polite with her nakama, who were her only family, after all. She always had that way of calling Nami "Miss Navigator," or calling Zoro-

_OH CRAP! ZORO! WHERE'D HE GO? _ Nami whirled around, desperately searching for a sign of the moss-head. No luck. _WHY DOES HE HAVE SUCH BAD DIRECTIONAL SENSE? IS IT TRULY THAT HARD TO FOLLOW ME? _Thinking back, she couldn't remember the last time she saw him. After the Love Police guy had left, she had been grinding his face into the pavement, and then she turned around and stalked back into town, love-struck couples scrambling out of her way in terror as she walked by with a killing aura coming off her in waves... _Then what? Wait, he DID follow me back, didn't he? Didn't he? _Nami searched her brain, but honestly couldn't remember. _GREAT. He's probably on the other side of the island by now. _

"Miss Navigator?"

"See you later gotta find the marimo meet you here for dinner where the heck is Zoro BYE GUYS!" She yelled, racing away.

* * *

Clink, clink, clink.

By now, Zoro was used to the way his swords hit each other with each step he took. You know what he _wasn't_ used to? THE WHOLE STUPID ISLAND! First, everything, and he meant EVERYTHING was covered in pink. _Stupid color. _He thought. It made things so much harder to find… THEY ALL LOOKED THE SAME! Second, he hated the Love Police people. They just bugged him. Third, well, if he stayed here long enough, he was sure he'd find something else to hate. Right now… WHERE THE HECK WAS NAMI? After she told him that they needed to talk, all he remembered was pain and abject terror. On the Sunny, he and Luffy were the ones with the highest bounty. Then it was Robin, Franky, and the other crew. Nami was either last or second to last. _Ha. _The lineup didn't fool anybody for a second. No matter what the Marines put on her head, Nami was definitely the deadliest of all of them.

He stopped for a second and glanced around. Well, good news was that he wasn't surrounded by pink anymore. Bad news was that he had NO FREAKING CLUE where he was anymore.

_**Crack**_. Zoro whirled around, his three swords already drawn and ready to kill.

_**Snap.**_ It was definitely a human, running very fast. More twigs were snapping under its feet as it got closer, closer… He could here it huffing as the unknown enemy got within his range. His muscles tightened as he got ready to-

"DAMMIT ZORO WHERE ARE YOU?"

Okay, he'll admit it. He jumped at least 15 feet into the air. Never had he expected that _Nami_ would risk dirtying her clothes to run through the forest to look for him.

"OY! CRAZY WOMAN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" He yelled back, his heart still beating a million miles an hour. Nami, hearing his voice, made her way into the little clearing he was in.

"Oh, I just came to ask you if you wanted the chicken nuggets or fish sticks. WHAT DO YOU **THINK** I'M DOING, YOU IDIOT?"

"Don't sneak up on me like that! I could have **killed** you, you know!" he replied, embarrassed that he could have been caught off-guard.

"What, is your _pride_ hurt that a girl had to find you and drag you back to town?"

"No!" he protested. She snorted, skeptical. "Oh _**that's**_ really ladylike of you…" he muttered.

POW. Man, she had a mean right hook.

"Let's go back to town, you big baka." She turned away quickly so he wouldn't see her smile.

* * *

Step. Step. Step. They'd walked together for miles in complete, but slightly awkward, silence. They weren't quite in town yet, but at least they'd found the pink-covered areas again.

Zoro cleared his throat quietly before asking, "How did you find me anyway?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you know, usually I end up in places where I don't even know how I get there. How were you able to find me so easily?" He wondered for a second if that question even made sense.

"It's really not that hard. All I had to do was tell myself, 'think like Zoro,'"

"And what did you see inside my mind?" He said, smiling.

"Absolutely nothing."

"OY!"

They walked a little while further, the silence no longer awkward, but more thoughtful and friendly.

"I don't really know how I found you." Zoro jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. "I just… ran. I had one of those gut feelings, you know? It felt like… we had some sort of connection. She stopped abruptly before anything more embarrassing could come out of her mouth. Fortunately, all he did was nod.

"Try and make that sound a little more fortune-cookie like, okay?"

"HEY! I could always leave you behind in the forest for the wolves, mister…"

Zoro reached down and held one of her hands. "No you won't."

Nami looked away, but smiled. No, she would never leave him behind.

* * *

A/N: Sooooo? Should I keep going? I tried to make it longer... but i guess i'm just not good at that... but REVIEW ANYWAY! LOVE YA!


	4. Dinner and a HOTEL?

A/N: ...aaaand yes, I'm alive! sorry bout the delay. it was the killer combo of writer's block and broken-down computer, i swear! DARN YOU, YOU DYSFUNCTIONAL PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY! **shakes fists** anyway... taaadaa! new chapter!

* * *

_Back at the restaurant…_

Robin sighed as she looked around the crowded room. No sign of the navigator or the swordsman yet. She glanced quickly over at Luffy. He was making faces and shoving straws up his nose, singing, "_I'm a walrus…!"_ The black-haired archaeologist shook her head in exasperation. She had had no preference of whom she was assigned to come ashore with, but still…! There had to be SOME limit… First, the childish captain had cleared out their entire budget for a single meal at a meat shop. Next, he ran off, leaving Robin to the mercy of the Love Police. Her fists clenched at the thought of those idiots. Normally, she would have given no thought to strange people, but these Love Police, though they seemed ridiculous, posed a genuine threat. She still wondered about those weapons they carried. Something about them just didn't seem right…

"Robin, look! Dinner time!"

She was jerked back to reality and the sight of her captain carrying back a giant platter of meat.

"Excuse me, Captain, but I am fairly certain we maxed out our budget at the last shop we went to. I do not think we will have enough to pay for all of—"

"Naaaawwww, it's okay," the rubber boy said, grinning. "Nami has money, right?"

Robin smiled as she imagined the money-loving navigator's face as she saw the bill Luffy was about to ring up. Nami would probably personally feed the captain's brains to the vultures.

"Hurh, Worburnuh, wurh urr oo rurhkern durpersst?" Luffy mumbled through an insanely large mouthful of meat. By now, Robin had learned to be fluent in Hungry-Captain-Meat-Speak.

"No, I'm not depressed, I just…" She trailed off. Yes, she was feeling a little sad. She glanced over at the captain who had managed to swallow an entire leg of a roasted cow. To the onlooker, he seemed to be some childish fool. Robin knew better now. He could see beyond any mask she had attempted to put on. Somehow, he was the only one who could understand or relate to her, and was the only one who had truly wanted to rescue her from CP9. She startled suddenly as she realized that she was smiling at him. She quickly put on her usual poker face, but she knew he had seen the accidental smile.

Swallowing the mouthful, Luffy flashed her his trademark grin, saying "I knew you were gonna smile!" Robin looked down at her plate in a sudden burst of irrational embarrassment. The stoic historian was NOT supposed to be blushing!

But she knew it was no use. Though she could blame her red face on the pink candlelight (really, EVERYTHING was pink), she knew that the reason for the warm feelings that were emerging in her heart was sitting across the table from her, efficiently devouring several cattle.

* * *

Nami and Zoro had finally reached the town. Nami suddenly realized that she hadn't let go of the swordsman's hand yet. She turned a bright shade of pink and dropped his hand like it had electrocuted her. "Well, we're back," she said shortly, turning away and praying he hadn't seen her blush.

Zoro looked up as she jerked her hand away. Somehow, a feeling of disappointment crashed over him. He mentally shook himself. He was ZORO, the man who would become the greatest swordsman in the WORLD. Why was he _**DISAPPOINTED**_ when a _**GIRL**_ didn't want to hold his hand?

_Head in the game, Zoro, head in the game…_

Nevertheless, he mentally made a promise to actually use soap the next time he washed his hands.

* * *

Nami quickly pushed open the door to the restaurant, relieved that they had finally arrived. Being with Robin and Luffy would definitely help lessen the awkward atmosphere that had returned to haunt Nami and Zoro. Scanning the crowd, she could easily identify the largest platter of meat. _Luffy…_ Nami hoped that the captain knew if he ran out of money, he would become her personal servant boy to pay off the debt. She jerked her head in their direction so the swordsman knew where she would be. Nodding quickly, he walked to the bar to pick up a drink. She stood there for a second, torn. Should she follow him to the bar? Should she find Luffy and Robin? It seemed like an insignificant thing, but at the moment she really couldn't decide. Right now, Robin and Luffy were talking and laughing and looking like they were enjoying each other's company. Wait. Was Robin… _blushing?_ No… It was probably a reflection from the pink candles… Still, she would hate to interrupt their happy moment. But if she followed Zoro, it might seem like she was in love with him. Holding his hand, telling him that she had a _connection_ with him, now following him to the bar. People might assume she really liked him. But she didn't! Right? Right? Go AWAY, warm, fuzzy feelings! AWAY!

"You… uh… okay?" Zoro's deep voice behind her made her jump.

"Yeah. Mm-hmm." She said quickly in a high voice that DEFINITELY did not belong to her.

The tall swordsman looked down at her skeptically, raising an eyebrow. "Really. You sure looked like hell for a minute there…"

Nami took a half-hearted swing at his head and stuck out her tongue. _Stupid… We're FRIENDS. That's all there is…_ she thought to herself.

"Come on, is that the best you can do?" he said, taunting her.

Huffing in exasperation, she dragged him to the table.

"Hey Nami! Hi Zoro!" Luffy looked up and grinned at his two crewmates, who had just joined them at the table. The two had barely opened their mouths to return the greeting when he rushed on with his sentences. "Didja hear? Didja hear? Didja hear? No? No? Okay so I was walking back from the meat shop with Robin and by the way Nami we need more money but anyway-"

_Slam. _Nami had stood up and slapped her hands on the table and glared at the captain dangerously. Oblivious to her killer's aura, he childishly waved back.

"STOP. Repeat last 7 words. NOW."

"Nami we need more money but-"

_POW._

Rubbing her sore knuckles, Nami sat back down. The captain re-emerged from where his face had been pummeled into the table and continued his story, unfazed by this everyday occurrence. "So Robin and I saw this pretty poster and she said that it would be a good thing to do so I should tell you guys so is it okay but you guys gotta come too or else it's not gonna be fun…" The captain finally finished his looooong sentence and drew a deep breath. Grinning, he looked at the two people across the table from him. The swordsman was just staring, jaw hanging slightly open. Nami was holding her head in her hands, trying to process the overload of useless information. Eventually, she reached the conclusion that he wasn't able to speak when he was on a meat high. Looking over at the dark haired archaeologist, she pleaded for an explanation. Smiling, Robin decided they deserved a break.

"What Captain was trying to say was that we saw an advertisement for the Annual Couple's ball. It takes place in three days. Attendance is mandatory for all couples on the island. Yes, it will be monitored by Love Police." And with this statement, it became so quiet you could hear the crickets outside.

"FIREFLIES!" Luffy yelled.

"BAKA, those are CRICKETS." Zoro said, relieved for Luffy's idiotic distraction. What Robin said was… Well… _I'll meditate on it later. _

"Naww, they're fireflies!" The captain insisted.

"Crickets, stupid, CRICKETS! Fireflies don't chirp!"

"Hey! Let's go catch some moths!"

"Now they're MOTHS?"

* * *

After a long, in-depth explanation of insects to Luffy, everyone was worn out. Well, everyone except the captain, who still wanted to catch some "dragonflies." Robin's lecture on insect body structures had been utterly wasted on him. The rest of the crew agreed that it was time to get some rest and think about their next moves tomorrow. After a quick good-bye, Robin and Luffy took off, leaving Nami and Zoro to pay the bill (Nami looked like she went through cardiac arrest) and leave the restaurant. Standing out in the street, they finally realized that they had absolutely no clue about where they should stay. The idea of returning to the boat was too risky, because the Love Police might discover the whole ship was full of singles. Instead, they went hotel-hunting.

"How about that one?"

"NO. FREAKING. WAY."

"Come ON, Zoro, this is the FIFTH hotel you've rejected!"

"I **refuse** to go into a hotel that is covered in hearts and puppy pictures!"

"It won't make a difference! You'll be ASLEEP, anyway!"

"No." _Pause…_ "Why can't we sleep on the ground?"

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"What..?"

"I WILL NOT SLEEP ON THE GROUND LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON. IT'S ONLY FOR NO-CLASS PEOPLE LIKE YOU, BAKA!"

"Ouch. That's mean… Hey, why don't I sleep out here, and you can sleep in the pink hotel?"

"Are you retarded? This is a COUPLE'S island. I can't go in there by myself!"

Zoro sighed. This conversation had been repeated six times before. He knew that he couldn't win. Reluctantly, he agreed.

An old man behind the front desk smiled as they approached. Nami opened her mouth to explain that they didn't have a reservation, but would like two separate rooms, or at least two beds in a room. Heck, even a fold out couch and a bed, maybe. Before she could do more than state their names, though, the wrinkled little man gave them a creepy toothless grin and handed them a room key. On a little piece of paper, he scribbled "Floor 6, Room 66."

_This is a sign…_ Zoro thought apprehensively. He still appreciated the gesture though. _Two new faces in the hotel? Hey, let's stick them in 666!_

Nami, however, was oblivious to the meaning of this. Thanking the man, she dragged the reluctant swordsman across the fluorescent pink lobby into the hotel. Zoro glanced back at the front desk to see the little old man cackling.

_Wait. Cackling?_ Before he could think too hard about that, he was shoved into an elevator. Nami punched the 6 button, and they were being taken away from the strange old man.

_

* * *

Ding. _

The elevator doors slid open, and they walked into a dimly lit hallway. Yes, it was pink. A few steps to their left, and the two tired crewmates were in Room 66. Nami flicked on the lights and stopped dead, eyes wide. Zoro, oblivious, promptly walked into her.

"Oof. Watch it, okay?" He was greeted by silence, and the redhead still didn't move. "Hey Nami, what-" He stared past her into the room and saw exactly "what."

The floor was made of a fluffy white fur, leopard print. Oh dear god, was it PERFUMED? But the terror didn't end there… A deep purple couch (a _loveseat_, of course) stood to the side, next to a rose-covered end table with a crisp white note on it. Across the room, there was… _Oh. My. God. _One small-ish bed. One. It was a light pink, with a snow-white comforter laid carefully at the end. Just looking at it, it seemed innocent. It might even belong to a little girl. Zoro knew better. His most terrible enemies always looked the nicest.

With an expression of utter desperation, Zoro's eyes darted around the room, looking for a way to escape. None. The only door was behind him, and it led right back to the freaky man at the front desk, and possibly the Love Police. A sudden movement out of the corner of his eye startled him. _Nami?_

The navigator moved to the room, the shock and horror completely wiped from her expression. _Kick-ass actress, _Zoro remembered. Stopping at the rose end table, she daintily lifted the note. Zoro watched apprehensively as her eyes skimmed the words once. Twice. Slowly, _very _slowly, she lifted her eyes to meet his. In them, he saw a million horrible things.

"What?" he asked hoarsely. It can't get worse, it can't possibly get worse.

Looking down at the note, she read out the words. She looked like she was reading her own death sentence. "_Enjoy your stay! Don't worry, the walls are thick enough! __ Love, the Hotel Manager_"

Oh. My. God.

* * *

A/N: BOO-YAH! **exactly** four pages on Word! I'm trying to put in a lot of your requests, so if there's anything you wanna see in the story, message me! :) Keep reviewing! Love y'all!


	5. Deal?

**A/N: Wow. That wasn't a looooooong break or anything... But YES, I'm alive and updating! Enjoy, people!

* * *

**

Last time….

_Looking down at the note, she read out the words. She looked like she was reading her own death sentence. "Enjoy your stay! Don't worry, the walls are thick enough! __ Love, the Hotel Manager"_

_Oh. My. God.

* * *

_

For a long moment, neither pirate moved. Clock across the room noisily reminded them that time was still passing.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

"Soooo…." Zoro tried, desperately hoping for something to distract them from that VERY disturbing letter. Since Nami didn't make any move to show that she heard him, the swordsman let his voice trail off into nothing.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

After another awkward minute of silence, Nami walked forward into the room slowly, like she was trapped in a slow-motion dream. With equally sluggish movements, she reached into her purse and started rummaging for something.

_Maybe she has some crazy Usopp-invention to get them out of here! _Zoro thought, absolutely thrilled with his conclusion.

Snip. Snip.

Zoro's eyes bugged out of his head. _What the HELL? THIS is her secret weapon? NAIL CLIPPERS?_

"What?" she snapped, annoyed.

"Uhhh…"

Finally noticing his freaked-out stare, she rolled her eyes. "Just keeping my pedicure perfect," she announced primly.

Jeez, was she a spoiled princess? Her _pedicure?_

Examining her nails one final time, she seemed to realize that her nails couldn't get any more perfect. Smiling in satisfaction, she started punching in her pillow with a fearsome ferocity.

"Oi, Nami…"

_Whap._ An overstuffed pillow hit him square in the mouth, exploding a little.

Spitting out feathers, he snarled "What was that for? Crazy woman…"

"Goodnight, baka. Enjoy the floor."

_Click_. The lights went off.

"Oi, oi! Aren't you deciding this a little too fast?"

"No. Shut up and sleep."

Zoro rolled his eyes, muttering something about PMSing.

As soon as he lay his head on the floor, he realized they may have a problem. Standing up quickly, he strode over to the bed and hopped in.

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE—"

"The floor smells bad."

…

…

…

"WHAT?"

"Geez, yell a bit louder. It's not like I'm a foot away from you…"

Nami took a deep breath and counted in her head. _One idiot, Two idiots, Three idiots, Four…_ Screw that. She needed answers.

"What do you mean, dearest Zoro?" She spit out between clenched teeth.

"The floor's perfumed."

"And your problem is…?"

"I am a MAN."

"Do tell."

"MEN don't smell like lilies!"

"What is your problem with hygiene? Do you realize that NONE of you guys ever shower? EVER? Do you know what I go through every day? Standing next to you guys, EATING with you guys? DISGUSTING! Out of all the crew members, only Robin, Brooke, Sanji, and I smell DECENT! Robin and I, because we ARE INTELLIGENT HUMAN BEINGS! It is physically impossible for Brooke to have B.O., and Sanji showers at LEAST weekly!"

"Like I said, woman. REAL men don't smell like lilies."

The navigator huffed in frustration.

"Fine. Don't sleep on the floor. What exactly is your backup plan, hmmm?"

Zoro glanced around him like the answer was the easiest thing in the world. Well, yeah it was.

"Ohhhh no. No no no no NO NO NO!"

Zoro grinned.

"You want the floor?"

The glare Nami gave him was full of the fires of hell.

Zoro's grinned widened. _I win!_ He thought in satisfaction.

"Fine."

"HA!"

"First, let's establish the rules."

"WHA-?"

"This," Nami said, building a pillow wall, "is MY side."

Zoro grunted. Sure, his side was smaller, but he would take what he could get.

"Next, there will be no… inappropriateness."

"Amen. Like I'd want to touch you."

A strange look flashed across Nami's face. It was gone before Zoro could figure it out, but it still made him feel…guilty.

"Well, it's weird, cause we're nakama and—" He tried making up for his verbal typo, but the navigator plowed on relentlessly.

"Next, you are to take your shirt off."

"EXCUSE ME? What happened to the inappropriatene—"

"Shut up, baka. Not like _that!_"

"Really? Cause it sure didn't sound like it…"

"You stink. The shirt stinks. I will not have my head anywhere near that. Shirt. Goes. Away."

"Hey—"

"Fine. Deal off. Enjoy the floor, Smelly."

Zoro grumbled a bit more about that stupid concept girls had of hygiene, but removed the shirt. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure if it had ever been washed. Okay, maybe the evil witch had a point.

"Next, you owe me ten thousand berries."

"EH?"

"And finally, -"

"Oi, Oi! Back up to the money bit. What do I owe you for?"

"I am generous enough to let you sleep here. I'm charging you per minute, and I already added your Snoring Tax in. If you add this ten thousand to what you already owe me, you have a grand total of—"

"OKAY, okay! I don't want to know! Wait. SNORING TAX? What ARE you?"

"FINALLY, I already know that asking you not to snore is a lost cause. But I will tax you for it. But my last rule is that you will not fart or burp in your sleep. Or I will start charging 400% interest."

"OI! I don't—"

"You ate a chili dog for dinner. Yes, I think you do."

"But in my sleep? I can't control—"

"You will. Goodnight."

* * *

After a long hour, Nami was still awake. She was trying to sleep, but somehow her mind couldn't turn off. And she knew why.

"Zoro."

"Hnnnuugghh."

"I'm cold."

"Hnnnuuuuugghhhh."

"Did you hear me?"

"Unnngggugggghhh"

"You're hogging the blanket."

"Urrrgh… Nami… Shutt… Urrrrppp…"

Nami frowned. It actually _was_ really cold. She had brought this to the swordsman's attention several times, but he just wasn't listening. Fed up, she reached over and gave the blanket a ferocious yank.

"OI!"

Sighing with contentment, Nami wrapped the comforter around her. _So warm…_

Now it was Zoro's turn in the cold. He hated the cold. Gripping the blanket, he gave it a tug. He barely got an inch of blanket. Nami, being smart, had curled the comforter around her so she was pinning it below her, making it impossible to retrieve without excessive force. Well, if _that_ was the way she wanted to play it…

"単一の包括的なスタイル …" he muttered, "竜巻!" ("Single Blanket Style… TORNADO!")

Ripping it from underneath her, Nami was spun out of the bed, landing with a thump. Glancing up, she saw Zoro triumphantly wrapping it around him.

_Bring it, Zoro_… She thought evilly. Reaching into her purse, she took out her Clima-Tact and hid it behind her as she climbed back into bed. Slowly, she inched her her hand closer to the fleece comforter.

"Static… SHOCK!"

Okay, so maybe this wasn't Usopp's intention for her weapon, but Nami still had to appreciate the yelp Zoro let out as he received the static shock of his life.

"Truce?" He offered, not wanting to have his brain fried before morning.

Considering it for a second, she relented. "Yeah. Truce."

She tossed the Clima-Tact back into her purse and pulled the blanket towards her. In a second, it was tugged back off of her.

"Hey! What happened to our truce, baka?"

"Well, I'm sorry, Your Highness, but the blanket's kinda small!"

"Well, maybe if we get a little closer together…"

Zoro scooted over, taking down the pillow wall as he went.

"Here."

Their shoulders were now touching, but they didn't want to think about that. Or the fact that the blanket was STILL too small.

"You still cold?" He asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"Mmm."

"Hey, if it's not too awkward, do you think we should…?"

Zoro nodded. He then realized that she probably couldn't see that in the dark, so he went ahead and put his arm around her. She tilted her head a bit so she was using his arm like a pillow, and her arm instinctively moved so she was kind of hugging him. Zoro moved his other arm to circle her waist.

"Thanks, Zoro. It's definitely warmer now."

"Mmm. You're welcome."

They lay there in silence for a while, trying unsuccessfully to convince their own minds that this didn't feel natural or comfortable. That they weren't going to miss this when they had to leave the island. And maybe, that this was what they both wanted all along.

…

…

"Nami?"

"Yes, Zoro?"

…

"You're feet are cold."

* * *

**A/N: So? Whadja think? Review? :3**


End file.
